Played the first round of the competition today trying to not make mistakes. That was a mistake.
It's a sensation hard to describe when your brain tells body to perform while still asserting control to be safe. Like sitting back on skis or trying to guide a ball into hoop, a weird spastic execution of movement results.
It was a spectacular exhibition in flailing. Topped balls trying not to hit it fat, weak fade pushes to the right trying to make contact, yanks to the left trying not to be short. Left a variety of putts either halfway to the hole, or way beyond where I'm still away. Ended up in all kinds of weedy places I'd never been, slashing out of the tangles to save my life, and having no fun. Zero. What a shitty way to spend a perfectly good Saturday. Hit just three reasonable shots on the front nine, and that was on the 8th and 9th holes. Rest was just hacking around the course trying to finish each hole. It didn't matter how long the course played or where the pin placements were. My own brain was the overlord of pain.
At the turn, started to think about trust and bio-mechanics. I was betraying myself by not believing in the hours invested in programming the body to autonomously execute the swing. The score didn't matter, yet I was trying to not make mistakes, and not believing the body wouldn't. It's one thing to not play smart. Yet, once committed to play a certain shot, you have to just believe, stop thinking and let the body do its thing.
It's easier said than done. On the back nine, three times the brain still kicked in and tried to not make mistakes, costing me a couple more hacking trips back into the deep weeds and over a road out of bounds. The cost isn't just in strokes. That stringy tall grass can put the hurts on the tendons in your left hand and arm.
I did learn a few things about what happens when playing safe. Ease off on the tee, the body doesn't crank through and I hit it weak and right. Be safe yet try to hit it hard, and the arms kick in and hooks to the right. On short pitches and lobs, there's deceleration and you end up very short. On putts, you're worried so much about the break, you forget about whether it's uphill or downhill. As I write, my hands are body are totally sore. Side effects of unconscious tension. Remember to relax. Note to self: spikeless shoes no good in the early morning dew.
It's so mental, it's mental. Tomorrow just plan to pick a shot, then just fire away. If it goes wrong, so be it. It can't be worse than trying to be safe and getting tossed into the wood chipper anyway.